Duck Season! Rabbit Season! Carnival Season!

Over the past two or three weeks, I've had the opportunity(?), pleasure(?), cross to bear(?) of attending several functions that seem to kind of define Summer  - at least in the tri-state suburban area. Carnivals, Festivals, Frolics - whatever you wanna call 'em - there they are. Every weekend. You know them when you see them. A major roadway is blocked off. There's no parking. Anywhere. And you see hordes of people all heading in the same direction. Then, looking ahead, you usually see lights, even more people, and one of those giant slides you go down on a potato sack.

There are several things that are synonymous with the standard carnival, festival, frolic. Now, know that all of these things are, theoretically, fun things! But they can tip over to the side of odd... strange... nauseating... it can go a lot of different directions. And once you add the crowds and the heat? Well, you've got yourself quite an evening.

I'd say You Know You've Found a Frolic when you see..... FRIED THINGS! ANY fried things. Many fried things. ALL fried things. There will usually be at least three locations that sell Zeppoles (fried dough with sugar), Funnel Cake (fried dough with sugar), Fried Oreos (Oreos in fried dough with sugar) & Fried Twinkies (Twinkies in fried dough with sugar). And on the menu at the last frolic I found, they had "Fried Candy Bars." Full on, full sized fried candy bars. The line stretched about 40 people back at that stand. I know this, because, naturally, I wanted one. I wanted a full on, full sized, fried candy bar so bad I could feel my arteries hardening as I walked by and smelled the grease. But, alas, I gave up on that dream once I saw the line and tried to convince myself that the ice cream I'd get instead would be just as satisfying. Because, I mean, you can't spend any amount of time at a Frolic without constantly distracting yourself with food, right? I mean, I can't. Ok, to be completely honest - I wanted a full on, full sized, fried candy bar with ice cream on top and hot fudge. I know they also have sausage and pepper stands and lots of other 'real' food (sorta), but, I need the sugar high. And, you know you'll be getting powdered sugar blown on you from every direction you walk anyway, so, why not just give in to it?? I am weak.

You Know You've Found A Frolic when you see - A SHOW MOBILE!

 Ahhh yes, that glorious box of entertainment known as the show mobile. Take your local DJ, Dance school, Band, Politician or Theater troupe, and put them into convenient box form! It's like a mobile home for entertainment. Like, if you put a bunch of them all together, you'd literally have a trailer park of trailer park entertainment. Now, some very talented people have performed in show mobiles. And they're compact and easy to set up, and, they ensure that the performers don't get electrocuted by their own instruments if there's a sun shower. So, that's all well and good. But, there is just something about being in that little metal shadowbox that just seems... off. Like you've been reduced to a miniature of yourself. Like you'll be brought into class on Monday as a craft project done in someones shoe box. Like that feeling you get when you pick up one of those tiny bottles of liquor from an airplane and pretend you're a giant? It's like that - only you're the tiny bottle of liquor.

Years ago I was at a Frolic type event where we were doing a stage version of Sleeping Beauty in a show mobile. Now, I was playing the Queen - which was, by far, the easiest role in the show. In this version, the Queen is onstage for about 5 minutes, then gets put under a spell, and then sleeps, onstage until about 5 minutes before bows. These performances were in the morning, so, this was perfect for me, as I'm not a morning person. The only challenge I had was waking up for my cue at the end of the show. And being in the show mobile was WAY more awesome than the time we performed it in a parking lot and I had to sleep on hot asphalt. That was touch and go. So, everything here was going great. The sun was shining, people were frolicking, I was sleeping - life was good. What we hadn't counted on was that directly across the field, there was ANOTHER show mobile set up. It was probably 100 feet away - facing right at us.  And just about half way through our show, just as our heroine was singing a tender and touching refrain about an enchanted fawn (I don't know) on came their act of the day. A German brass band. A 20 piece German brass band that proceeded to play Roll Out the Barrel on a loop until the end of our show. First and foremost, it startled the crap outta me! It was all I could do to not jump outta my royal robes and see what the hell was going on. But, all I could do in the moment was subtly crack my eyes open to get a glimpse. (Wouldn't want to ruin the theatrical illusion for the disinterested kids passing by our show on their way to the petting zoo.) After a while the music kind of became an interesting background score to our show - even more interesting when we were singing completely different songs. And hey, ya know what? When a big brass band is packed into a small metal box with only one exit for the sound - ya know what happens? Yes! That sound shoots RIGHT outta there and directly across the way. I'll admit that some of the subtleties of the acting were lost - you know... because of the yelling. Had to yell or you never would've been heard and then NO ONE would know why there was an enchanted fawn. (I still don't know). We finished the show - the four people watching clapped lamely and immediately moved on to the "Win A Goldfish" game.

Now, this brings me to my last must have. And, it's probably where things go off the rails a bit for me.

I try to comprehend the universe. I'm not so much of a philosophical person, but I try to have a basic understanding of the world and the things I come into contact with. But, there are some things that just put me at a complete standstill of understanding. I am frozen. I cannot compute what my senses are taking in. There is a void that I cannot cross over. A chasm. Darkness. Where is that point for me?
It is here:

The Rasta Banana.  
You Know You've Found A Frolic when you see... The Rasta Banana.
I'm simultaneously fascinated and confused by this confounding prize. Most people walk on by. But, I have to stop. I have to stop and think. How did this come to be? HOW DID THIS COME TO BE?! In what meeting did someone say:

"Look everyone, we really need to start thinking outside the box on these prizes. We're getting raked over the coals by the people with the mirrored Homer Simpson wall art!"

And, who (probably after a smoke or two) was bold enough to stand up and say, "I've got it!" And go on to describe this.

I mean, it is a banana. Usually a GIANT banana. With dreads. And a Rasta hat. This is not an idea that springs from a normal, non-tripping brain. There is just no way. I cannot believe that. These are not things that, once put together, totally make sense. Like, chocolate and peanut butter. No! These things make no sense when put together! Yet, there they are. And here I am. Unable to stop thinking about it.

Where do you put it in your house? Do you display it proudly in the living room and sit around as a family remembering back to the magical night when your powdered sugar covered mother's boyfriend dropped a $100 trying to get that damn ring around the bottle top to win it for you guys and just shut you all up? Do you put it in the garage and scare the crap out of yourself every time you turn the lights on? Where is the factory that makes them? Is that a scary place to work? I mean, picture hundreds, or even thousands of those bananas staring at you all day. Happy nightmares! What about the truck that delivers them? I want to see them all packed into a confined space together.

I come up with a backstory for the bananas too. Like, I picture them with a life, a community outside the carnivals. They're down in Nassau, chillin' at their houses in a hammock and having a few daiquiris as they listen to Bob Marley. Walkin' to the store real slow, to the beat of their jam. Just enjoyin' the good life, mon.

I know, I need to let it go. But, I don't think I can. Not while I'm still seeing them everywhere I turn. Still so many questions unanswered. I think I need to have one in my life just so I can stare at it and figure out WHY I'm so obsessed with them, on my own time. See if I can figure out what's really going on... inside. Late at night. After my husband is asleep. Just me. The Banana. (Don't be gross.) And my innermost thoughts. Oh, and also, I really want to put one in my passenger seat, strap him in, and drive in the HOV lane.

Happy Frolicking, everyone!!!

PARTY OF ONE?

Well, good evening, good morning, and good day!

Yes, it has certainly been a while. Please excuse my absence from the blogosphere. I know that all 6 of you who read these have been positively lost without me! Well, relax video rangers, I'm back.

The reason for my absence was an extended trip for work. It was a good trip with a few weeks down in Florida, and then several weeks in Europe. Not too bad, if I do say so. I got to make a little cash, see some new places, and eat as much Nutella as the law would allow. And as it turns out, the law doesn't really limit Nutella intake, so I was, essentially, running on a sugar high for most of June. But, I'm back in the land of the living again, and feeling groovy.

One of the awesome new places I was able to see on this trip was Copenhagen, Denmark. It was a lovely city, and I got to explore quite a bit of it. It's an easy place to check out on foot. And, I was able to indulge one of my little passions. Which is... Disney!! Disney in Copenhagen, you say? Sounds crazy, no? Well, no. Actually it's not. Now, if you know me - and who are we kidding, if you're reading this, you probably know me - you know that I do have a passion for Disney. I even went so far as to have a bit of a Disney theme at my wedding reception.

I should pause here for a moment to make an important distinction. My husband and I are both very big Disney fans, BUT, we are not those kinds of people. Who are those kinds of people? Well, we love the history, Walt, the parks, the classic movies - all the good stuff. But, it can be a fine line between appreciating all of that, and having the 7 Dwarfs as your bridesmaids. Amirite? We are not those kinds of people. Get it? Good.

Ok, so, back on the track. In Copenhagen, I went to go see the Little Mermaid statue. And I, along with a bus load of Asian tourists all did the requisite photo op were you sit beneath the statue and look out into the distance wondering where all of your dinglehoppers have gone. That was Disney stop off number one.

The second Disney stop off was Tivoli Gardens. If you're unfamiliar, it's a lovely amusement park that's been around for, well, about 150 years or so. It's been said that Walt Disney visited here and used it as a large part of his inspiration for creating Disneyland. So, if Walt's been there and checked it out, I thought I should too. And, it was a great day. I could definitely see the similarities in the styles of the parks in certain places.

So, while I'm in Disney land here (get it?) I thought I'd share a special moment of mine that I had a few years ago. I was down in Florida for work, probably sweating profusely (cause, duh, it's Florida) and I had a weekend free. So, I decided to make my way to Orlando and get in a quicky with the Magic Kingdom. I was there on a Friday night, and they had extra magic hours (who doesn't love even MORE magic??)(Me and My Magician© certainly do) so the park was open till 2am! Well, I am a fan of getting the most bang for my buck in this world, so, if the park is open till 2am, well, I'll be leaving when you push me out the gate at 2am on the button! So, I knew I was staying for the long haul. I was by myself, which, may sound odd, but, that's something I've actually really grown to enjoy. Being at a theme park alone can be a bit lonely at times, but, for the most part - it's awesome!! You don't have to care what anyone else wants! Wanna go on the Carousel of Progress 3 times in a row? (I do) - DO IT! Wanna eat nothing but churros all day long? (I did) - DO IT! Not to mention taking full advantage of the Single Rider lines, thereby saving valuable wait time. It's an excellent way to travel.

So, I was making my way around the park with accuracy and speed. Moving like a panther. A panther wearing mouse ears. It got to around 1:30am and I had done pretty much everything I wanted to do. But, was I leaving? In the words of the late, great, Whitney Houston - Hell To The No! So, I wandered over to Adventureland, and decided to spend some time in one of my favorite attractions. The Enchanted Tiki Room! The attraction with the best theme song the Sherman Brothers ever wrote. Now, if you're unfamiliar, the Tiki Room is a large room with bench seating on all four sides once you get inside. Seats about 200 people.The ceiling and walls are filled and covered with birds, flowers and all sorts of tropical whatnot that come to life and sing and dance for approximately 15 minutes. It's 'hosted' by Jose, a Spanish bird who along with his cohorts - a German bird (Fritz), an Irish bird (Michael), and a French Bird (Pierre) (yup, that's right) show you a rollicking good time all through the magic of Audio Animatronics.

The doors were open - "Awesome!" I thought - no waiting for the next show! I can go right in! As I approached, the girls working the attraction gave me a polite smile as I happily passed them by. The full grown adult, wearing mouse ears, alone, on a Friday night, at 1:30am - headed into the Tiki Room. Ya know, it seems kind of obvious now that I probably looked odd - but, I swear, at the time... maybe I was just on a churro high, who knows.

So, I went into the room and suddenly felt very strange. I looked around..... and.... I was...... alone. Completely. Alone. I was the only one in the entire damn Tiki Room. I took a seat. (anyone I wanted) And, I waited. "Surely someone else will come along before the show starts...right?" I sat, and sat. No one came. But, the show must go on. One of the girls who had politely smiled at me now came in and gave me some full on side eye, I'm sure assuming that at some point in my life, I had made an appearance on To Catch a Predator. (Note - I hate iced tea, so that would never happen) Or, at least thinking to herself - "LOSER!" But, she put on the Disney smile, and went about the opening speech as if the entire room were full of tourists, as opposed to the reality of it being just one complete numbnut sitting in the room by herself. On a Friday night. At 1:30 in the morning. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room!" No smoking, or flash photography, no eating or drinking, please remain seated, and remember all your personal belongings when you leave, yada, yada, yada. She used the microphone. She came through loud and clear. After all, I wasn't saying anything, so, how could she not be heard??  She needed only to be slightly louder than the deafening silence. We smiled at eachother - neither one of us willing to acknowledge the worlds most awkward elephant in the room. Me.

She woke Jose from his nap - as is the standard start to the show, and out she went. Doors closed. And now... it was just me... alone. Me, the European Union of birds, and whatever security cameras they were watching me through. They had to be watching, right? I mean, I would be. I would be fascinated by me, if I were them. What had happened in my life to bring me to this dark place? Who was this sad, lonely person? In mouse ears. I mean, I get it. But, to be honest... once she was out the door - I was thrilled. I mean, this is a dream come true, right? Getting to have the park to yourself?? WHEN does that happen?? Pretty much never! I had this moment of realization that, I could do whatever the hell I wanted (while staying within the rules of the room, of course - I'm a good Catholic school girl). So I sang. I sang my little heart out. I sang that music so loud I'm sure they could hear me all the way over in Germany! (Not actual Germany, but, miniature Germany over in EPCOT). And I clapped. And I bounced in my seat. I seat danced like no one has ever seat danced before! And I smiled from mouse ear to mouse ear. It was positively glorious. My only regret was that it was over too soon. The show finished, the doors opened and I went on my merry way. Leaving only the mystery of my story behind. Back to Main Street. Then out the gates... to joyride on the monorail.

It was a perfect night.