That Was Then... This Is Now

Remember your childhood? Good times, right? The awkwardness? The frustration of figuring out who you were and what your place was in this crazy mixed up world? The questionable fashion choices? It might just all be a blur at this point. But, if you're like me (lucky you), you remember certain choice things very specifically. Like, very specifically. Because those were the things that really floated your boat. They made you the unique individual you thought you were. A cool, cool person. Joe Cool. (In fact, I actually had a sweatshirt with Joe Cool on it. That is how Joe Cool I was!)

Looking back on those things really makes you think, doesn't it? Think things like, "What the hell was I thinking?" Well, I'd like to take a few moments today to make note of a few of my more questionable passions from childhood. Have I changed much? What stuck, and what didn't? Was I alone in these passions? In this great, vast universe, there had to be at least one other like minded chum, right? Hmmm....

I've decided to break them down into categories - so, here we go:

Personality: I always fancied myself a quirky one. And in some respects, today, I still do. I like to take trapeze class. I like some good old fashioned Bing Crosby type, 40's style banter. I like to make up songs about Armadillo Safety Week (does not exist) for my husband (not available on itunes). So yes, I've got a bit of the quirk in me. But, I think the difference between now and then (then being my formative early teen years) is that now I don't try quite as aggressively to be the 'wacky friend.' For instance,
Now: I do not force my friends to listen to my E.T. impressions (which were dead on, btw) or my re-enactments of the majority of Joe Piscopo's work on SNL.
Then: I did that.
Now: I do not do the full choreography for the "Love is a Battlefield" video behind the Pathmark.
Then: I did that.
Now: I do not ask my mother to get me for Christmas the "100% Crazy" gold charm from the Sears Wishbook catalog, because it is so totally obvious to anyone paying attention that I am totally caraaaaaaaaaazy! Like, completely wacky. The wackiest, looniest gal you're ever gonna meet, AREN'T I FUN?????
Then: I totally did that.

Now? I just like what I like, and if you think it's weird, well, then you're a big dumb dummy, Lamont because what I like is obviously totes awesome. Weird things make life interesting.

Fashion: Well, I'm sure we could all write a book about our fashion missteps from the past. Be they self inflicted, or parentally inflicted. We've all got 'em. Personally, I'd be happy if we could all dress like Rosalind Russell everyday, but, I know that is not to be. So, I have been a victim of the times in which I lived.
Then: I bought a turquoise shirt with the completely bedazzled face of a poodle on the front of it for a friend for her birthday. I liked it so much that I did not give it to her for her birthday and kept it for my own damn self. And wore the s*#! out of it.
Now: I say, "You're welcome, Friend From the Past. You, dear, have dodged a bullet."

*note - This was not the shirt, but, this is what came up when I googled "shirt with bedazzled poodle on front." You do you, Boo.

Then: Nightshirts that said "I Hate Mornings" on them with Garfield looking grumpy holding a cup of coffee.
Now: I hated mornings then. I hate mornings now. Garfield has a lot of wisdom. Those nightshirts were art. 
Then: Two words: Rainbow. Suspenders. Yes, I had them. Yes, I wore them. Yes, there are multiple pictures of me at family gatherings, like, special occasions - birthdays, holidays, whatnot - wearing them. They were perceived (by me and me only) as the perfect compliment to any ensemble. Wearing my tshirt with the disco ball iron on on it? Add the rainbow suspenders. Wearing my Smurf sweatshirt?? Add the rainbow suspenders! It's Thanksgiving?? Let's do a family portrait!  - Wait one second, let me just get on my rainbow suspenders!!! -  Just know that when you rock some sweet rainbow suspenders, you can't go wrong. You feel like a million bucks. And why shouldn't you???
Now: Confidence is sexy. Mork is not. It's a rock and a hard place with these things.

Entertainment: I believe I only need one entry here:
When not on the street corner with my neighbor yelling "Honk if you're horny!" to passing motorists (we hadn't a clue what we were saying) I could most certainly be found holed up in the house watching M*A*S*H. It was my favorite show, and still is one of my all time favorites. But, I took it to, as the kids say "a whole 'nother level" back in the day. I give you a masterpiece in "WTF was wrong with this girl?"
Then: I would wear my father's old dog tags. I had a huge crush on Alan Alda/Hawkeye Pierce. (Not exactly normal for a 12 year old of the time). I would record episodes of the show on audio cassettes (this was pre-VCR's) so I could listen to them on my walkman on the bus on the way to school. (approximately a 5 minute ride). And when my parents told me they would allow me to re-decorate my bedroom any way I wanted? I told them I wanted everything army green and in the middle of my carpet I wanted to paint a giant Red Cross to look just like the helicopter landing pad. (DENIED!)
Now: I still watch the show. But, I do not listen to audio cassettes of episodes in my car, hahaha. No, no no. Hahahaha. No way. I am not that big of a loser, hahaha.
I listen to audio cassettes of the Golden Girls.

Cuisine: This will be quick
Now: I do not want to eat mud pies.
Then: I totally did because they completely looked like delicious chocolate to me.
Now: I just get up in the middle of the night and go get myself some chocolate if I want it.
Then: I had sheets that were different patches of color. I would lie in bed at night and fantasize that by pushing the different squares of color, it would activate a magical machine that would make bowls of chocolate rise to the side of my bed.  Green square: fudge. Red Square: Brownie Mix - You get the idea. No, I'm not diabetic. No, I'm not sure why not.
Now: I am not fooled by a stick of beef jerky. Just because it's brown, that does not mean it's chocolate.
Then: That's a tough lesson to learn in the middle of a walk-a-thon.

Hobbies:
Our final category for the day. Remember when I mentioned re-doing my room in the style of a Korean War camp's helicopter landing pad? Well, since that idea didn't fly (not a premeditated pun, but, I'll go with it) I had to make another decision. So, I went with purple. Purple walls, purple carpet, purple bedspread, purple ceiling. Ya see, I was really into purple. (purple overalls) So into it, in fact, (purple Members Only jacket) that it became more than a color. It became... a hobby. HOW, you may ask, can a color be a hobby? Well, I'll tell you how. When you become a card carrying member of the I Heart Purple Club! This is what I would categorize as "A Thing That Actually Existed In The World For Real." You got a membership card. You got a magazine that featured all purple products. You got to connect with other losers kids that also hearted purple as much as you hearted purple. To show my loyalty publicly, I purchased the "I Heart Purple" shoelaces - which were purple and said "I Heart Purple" all over them - and, the matching barrettes. Worn together (with rainbow suspenders, natch) you were sure to be the toast talk of the town. It didn't matter to me though. I wasn't afraid to take a stand. I put my opinions out there for the world to see. Subtlety was not my friend.
So, to re-iterate:
Then: Painting the town purple with every brush I could find.
Now: Realizing that just a pop of color can be oh so powerful. (Thanks, HGTV!) Moderation can be a good thing. (unless we're talking about chocolate)

So, to sum up - I know that everyone changes and grows as they move through life. Some more than others. Some things stick (ewww) and some things don't. I don't have any grand conclusion to draw from this, other than to say that my childhood was pretty fun, And the things I loved, I reaaaaaally loved. Go big or go home, right? So, on that note, I'm going to go have some chocolate and hope that someone can finally get me a date with Alan Alda. (I'm waiting for ya, Hawkeye)

                                                   Live Ya' Life, Lamont!