S.1 Ep.17
Nice & Easy
Written By: Stuart Silverman
Directed By: Terry Hughes
Aired: 2/1/86
Knuckle Bite™/Drip Dry. Genetics. How much of a role do they play in becoming a slut? No judgement! This is merely a scientific study. Sluts of the world - I salute you. You do you. Or anyone you want. You are woman. Go roar.
But, before we analyze the data, we must congratulate Sophia. 85 years old and she's still able to give herself a pedicure. Impressive. Hell, I use my squatty potty to help do mine now. I'm not optimistic about having the agility to continue till I'm 85. Better do more Debbie Reynolds Workouts to prepare myself.
Blanche would like the old woman to put her sandals back on and clear off the coffee table, because her niece, Lucy, will be arriving shortly. I know we're only in season one, but, did any other sitcom in history use the "visiting relative" storyline more than this show?? I'm not complaining, just realizing that the "Someone's a comin'" thing pops up quite a bit down in Miami. I like all these fun, quirky relatives that pop up out of nowhere, never to be seen again. I mean, I'm sure it's just as entertaining when my relatives from Yonkers stop by my place, but, I'm just too close to see it.
Lucy is coming to interview at schools in the area. Blanche is hoping things will go well and then Lucy will transfer to a local college and be around more often.
Dorothy has found the Rat King! Well, maybe not the Rat King, but, she has seen vermin in the kitchen. You'd think - being born and raised in Brooklyn - this wouldn't freak her out so much. I mean, my mom was born and raised in NYC and she said they used to just hit the rats with a broomstick, and then while they were dazed, throw them out the window. Brutal. My mother was brutal as a child. But, Dorothy does have her vulnerable side. And, vermin is where it's at. Rose quickly reassures us though, that it's not a rat. It's a cute little mouse, possibly from a Disney cartoon, that may or may not know how to both sew, and bake pies. Just like Larry the mouse. Rose's childhood pet (naturally) who prevented her from going over a bridge that was about to be washed out. Good Ole Larry.
Just in the nick of time (as it always seems to come) we get the doorbell, which signifies the arrival of Lucy, shoulder pads and triangle hair.
None of them will be staying long though. In the grand Hollingsworth/Devereaux Tradition, Lucy has met herself a handsome doctor on the plane. She gets a special dispensation from Blanche to run right back out of the house and go meet him. And now we fully understand why Blanche and Lucy get along so well. Yup - we have a "takes one to know one" situation going on here. The family bond is strong. Like, Sister Sledge strong. After Lucy leaves, Blanche lounges in her stirrup pants and laments finding a handsome doctor of her own. Dorothy strokes her gently and tells her, essentially, that she's all dried up. And Scene.
Day Two of Slut Watch - Does It Take A Village? Or Is One Pre-Destined to Slutdom? We'll see, but, for now - RAT KING WATCH. Dorothy saw him again, has had it and is going to call the exterminator. Rose talks her out of it, by claiming that she will talk to the mouse personally. Sounds like a good plan to me! Ok, back to the main event. Lucy did not come home last night! Blanche is beside herself with worry. Dorothy and Rose are surprisingly calm. I mean, she's a college student who's been in town for one day and didn't make it home? I'm with Blanche. Time to panic. Nope. Never mind. Here comes our angular looking niece now. Ya see, the doctor took her for a midnight cruise on his boat (seems safe), and she stayed with him allllllllllll night. And now, poof, she's off again. Gotta change and go to her college interview. What do the girls think of this? Well, opinions in the room vary. Blanche is stunned. But, only because Lucy has hooked a doctor but still wants to finish college. Rose thinks it's wrong to sleep with someone on the first date. Dorothy doesn't believe in being judgmental about it. (Good for you, Dot). And Sophia thinks it's a sin, but, she's not too upset about it. She's basically cool with whatever the Vatican tells her to do.
Enough time has passed for Dorothy and Sophia to be in the middle of a fierce game of checkers, and for Lucy to have met another man.
Yes, the worlds friendliest tourist is now head over heels for the man who interviewed her this afternoon, Michael. And is planning to fly off with him for two days to the Bahamas. I swear, how this girl didn't end up on a Dateline special is beyond me! She gives Blanche a bit of a half truth about the trip (not mentioning that this is not the doctor from the night before), so Blanche gives her the go ahead and she's off! Dorothy and Sophia fill Blanche in on the real deal. Sophia couches it as gently and kindly as she can.
Sophia: Girl's a slut.
Dorothy: That's not what I meant... exactly...
But yeah... she's gone away with two men... in two days... yikes. Blanche is afraid to confront Lucy about her behavior. She doesn't want to break the bond they've always had. But, I mean, who better to do it??? I know we find out years later (spoiler alert) that Rose is the true slut of the group, but, with everything we know at this particular moment - For goodness sake Blanche, talk to her! Nope. It'll have to wait till Lucy gets back from Sandals Nassau.
Day Three of Slut Watch and Probably Many Daiquiris Later - Lucy returns with new energy, bigger shoulder pads, and, a new man! Ladies and gentlemen, if you check your scorecards, you'll see that this is Mr. Ed Collins, Miami Vice. Actual Miami Vice, not the haven for great actors and 80's rock stars TV version. Although you'd be hard pressed to tell the difference since Ed has clearly modeled his look after Crockett and/or Tubbs.
Turns out that Lucy met Ed at the airport as she returned from "riding dolphins" in the Bahamas. (My own euphemism there). Ed actually arrested Michael for drug possession! Well, if that isn't a story to tell your grandkids someday - Romantic! Blanche (looking fabulous as always in her lingerie - (see below) - is just not having it anymore with this one. Lucy explains that she's just popping by to pick up some things (hopefully birth control and disinfectant) and then she's leaving with Ed. Blanche puts her foot down and grounds Lucy for the remainder of her stay. Lucy is just as stubborn and rebellious as a young (or old) Blanche Devereaux and she storms out anyway.
Finally we get Rose, Dorothy and Blanche together again. I was starting to worry about Rose. It'd been so long since we'd seen her this episode. The girls are discussing the Lucy situation. Which naturally leads to them reminiscing about their own moments of young rebellion. Rose tells a really long story that involves stealing a car, sitting outside a bar, a reverend skinny dipping and the Nylund's changing religions. That's kind of all you need to know there. And then Blanche lets us in on some more of the fascinating exploits of her youth. One of which included her dancing as a rockette under an assumed name. And, unlike last week, where Blanche was in no mood for her sisters, this week she actually credits her big sister Charmaine with helping her through this period of her life. So, under the advisement of Dorothy, Blanche decides to go slut hunting and find Lucy and be a big sister to her. The other girls volunteer to come along also. But, before they leave Dorothy sees the mouse again and screams as if she's, well, as if she's just seen a mouse that she's really afraid of. Rose explains that she tried reasoning with the mouse, but the guy just didn't understand why he had to leave. Totally get it. It's a nice house. Plenty of food. Comfy furniture. I wouldn't want to leave either.
Ok, Ed's place. Ed's place. What to say about Ed's place.
Well... it seems to have maybe inflatable palm trees, and a stuffed sheep? I mean, as we know, it's no Over Our Heads, but, what could be? Besides, this isn't a store This is his home. So, although they both share palm trees, only a home would have a stuffed sheep... ?
So, Ed is at Ed's place with Lucy and they're discussing Miami Vice, of course. There's a knock at the door and it's the Charlie's Angels of 1986 Miami. Blanche takes a mortified Lucy into the bedroom to speak with her privately. Rose and Dorothy stay in the living room with Ed. Rose gently strokes the sheep as she and Ed discuss their mutual affinity for Miami Vice. Turns out Rose is a fangirl. She knows every bit of trivia down to the Noogman.
With our girl Lucy it seems to be very much a tale as old as time. Or, at least a tale as old as Oklahoma. Lucy's logic is the same as Ado Annie's logic. The boys never used to pay attention to her. But, then once she shot up and filled out - all of a sudden, she was popular. And now, well, you all know the song - she's just a girl who can't say no. She likes being liked. Just like her Aunt Blanche. But, Aunt Blanche (or our Aunt Eller in the Oklahoma parallel) explains that you have to like yourself first. Respect yourself. And, only be with a man if you like them. Not because you want them to like you. This speech, honestly, is something that should be shown in every middle school on the planet!!!! It would've saved me so much grief over the years if I'd only had that mindset!!! It's excellent and well done and perfect and I love it. Since it's the perfect speech, it obviously gets through to Lucy. So, she decides to head home.
Mouse Watch Day Four. There's our friend, scurrying across the kitchen floor. And, you know what? I get it. It kind of freaks me out and I'm only watching it on a screen. In real life this scenario (which I've seen with my own eyes) has freaked me out just about as much as it's freaked out Dorothy. So, I get it. Dorothy, armed with a broom and a fierce look of determination, enters ready to swat to kill. Only problem is, she's an ole softie. She just can't kill the little guy. So, she makes a heartfelt plea for him to leave the way he came - under the sink. And he does. And Rose is just in time to witness this miracle. She proudly tells Dorothy that she "has the gift." She too can communicate in a Dr. Doolittle way. Dorothy does an amaaaaaaaazing dance with the broom like she's Cinderella after a few drinks. I wish I had a GIF of it. But, I don't, and it's late at night. So, just watch the episode, or, create your own version using your imagination.
At long last we get to send Lucy off to her new life with closed legs and a plate of food. Our episode finishes up with Blanche teasing that all her talk about the many men she's been with is exaggerated. Or is it.... Sounds like a cue for ominous music, but, instead Blanche gives us a wink, a smile and then we get a freeze frame and ending credits.
So, what do the results of our data analysis conclude? Are sluts born or bred? I have no idea. All I really know now, is that I want an inflatable palm tree. Bad!
Guest Stars: Hallie Todd - Lucy
Ken Stovitz - Ed
Fun Facts: This episode has the distinction of being the first of several GG eps that make reference to one of the other top shows of the time period - Miami Vice. At least I think it's the first time. If it's not the first, it's certainly the most since there's a whole scene surrounding it. If you look at all the people who made appearances on Miami Vice over the years, it could almost be considered a serious, next generation Love Boat. I mean, what other series can lay claim to having El Debarge, Liam Neeson, Harvey Fierstein and G. Gordon Liddy???
Fashion Report: I enjoyed the unabashed 80's style of Lucy with the enormous shiny blouses and shoulder pads. But, this week, my favorite outfit definitely belongs to Blanche. She wears it to the Miami Vice Intervention scene. A sweat suit, and heels. A sweat suit... and heels. And pulls it off with such confidence it makes me want to try it tomorrow. Blanche Devereaux. Goddess.
No comments:
Post a Comment